we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We are two peas in an std pod
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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