so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
