i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
