Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
