my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
