my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
