I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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