We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
barbara walters just said penis...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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