I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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