Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
