I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Randomize
