would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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