ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
