I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
