are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you had me at cake vodka
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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