that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
