Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
