It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
