I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
