I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
