ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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