dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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