so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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