i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
