So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
