Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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