420 ftw
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There r osticjed everywhere
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
