Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
