Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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