This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i now understand why vodka
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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