Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
