I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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