They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
