Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
