I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so explain again why im purple
no
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
