Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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