Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
