After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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