Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
