I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
