Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
