is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
