They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
