apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
