wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
