idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
