I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
