Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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