Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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