How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
