Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
