plz talk dirty to me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
